Jesus is not for everyone.
Okay, hear me out. Obviously Jesus is for everyone. His love is available to all who seek it. His forgiveness is given freely to all who accept him into their hearts. The hope and salvation he offers are enjoyed by all who believe in his divinity and his resurrection.
But not everyone is ready for Jesus. Some have had negative experiences in a church setting and have abandoned not just the church, but Jesus and the faith as well. Some were raised in other religions or with no religion, and have never found reason to seek out Jesus or to understand him, let alone follow him. Some are inherently skeptical or rebellious, and it goes against their nature to follow a religious figure who is so revered by others.
All of these experiences are valid, and they are very human. Even those of us who believe do so on a spectrum, and we move up and down the spectrum of belief throughout our lives. In some seasons of life, our faith is strong and powerful and worshipful. In other seasons, our faith can feel dry and brittle, even barren.
The point is this: If you are a follower of Jesus, and you know and love someone who is apathetic or even antagonistic toward Jesus, your natural inclination might be to move them toward Jesus. This effort will almost certainly fail.
Instead, I believe the goal should be to move these people toward love. Not everyone is ready for Jesus, but the need for love is universal.
All are seeking love
No matter where a person sits with respect to their faith in God and their desire to follow Jesus, they are still seeking love. It might not look like it or sound like it sometimes, but even in your most challenging relationships, the other person is always seeking love.
Bring to mind one of these people—a friend or loved one who clearly has no interest in Jesus. You know what they need, and you know why they need it. You know what Jesus has done for you in your life, and you want that for them, because you love them.
As you already know, trying to foist Jesus upon them is not going to work. Jesus is not to be implanted in others, but accepted by them. It is a decision made by them, not a goal for you to achieve. You cannot force them to accept Jesus.
This person you’re thinking of may accept Jesus into their heart one day, but it will not be because you or anyone else led them to that point. If this person accepts Jesus—and I am living proof that anyone, even the most strident atheist, can eventually come to accept Jesus—it will happen either through a lightning bolt of revelation or, more likely, through a meandering and mysterious path that could never have been predicted.
This person you’re thinking of is not seeking Jesus. But I promise you, they are seeking love. And here’s the thing: Anyone who is seeking love is seeking God, even if they don’t know it.
I was that person. I thought I was seeking inner peace and mental clarity, but what I really discovered on my journey was that unconditional love—the love of God—is the foundational force of the entire universe. I found love first, and it was love that opened my heart and mind to God.
What your beloved non-believer needs is not to be led by you to God, but to have love cultivated in their hearts.
Show them love, and be patient
If you know someone who “needs Jesus” but is not seeking him, remember that in order to find Jesus, they must first be open to love. This is where you can actually make a difference—not by telling them about Jesus, but by showing them love.
By showing them love, you move them toward love. And because love is God and God is love, you are in fact moving them toward God simply by loving them.
If someone in your life needs Jesus, it can be easy to succumb to frustration and even resentment in the face of their resistance. Do not lose heart. Do not write them off. Do not assume they are beyond saving. And do not close yourself off from them.
As the apostle Paul wrote in his first letter to the church in Corinth, love is the most important thing we can offer to others.
If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. … Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:2,7
Open your heart to those who need Jesus, even if their hearts appear closed. Give them your attention. Show them love. Be patient.
Put your attention on them in prayer, and instead of praying for them to find Jesus, pray for them to move in the direction of love. Pray for them to feel love from others, and pray for their heart to be opened to receive that love.
Put your attention on them in life, as well. Don’t talk to them about Jesus if they are not ready to hear about Jesus. Instead, talk to them about themselves. Lay down your life and listen to them.
This is love, and they will respond to it. They will be drawn to it. Their hearts will begin to open.
Love them, and trust in God
This is all you need to do for this person. Love them, through your attention and your listening and your words and your actions, and leave the heavy lifting to God.
This is crucial to remember: God is at work in everyone, all the time, no matter what you might think. God was at work in me when I was a vocal atheist. God was at work in me when I was exploring Stoicism and Buddhism. God was drawing me toward love, and in so doing, he was drawing me toward himself.
No one but God was leading me to Jesus. No one was urging me to follow Jesus, or to listen to his teachings. I found Jesus after first finding God’s love, and I had to take my own meandering, mysterious path to get there.
All you need to do—all you really can do—is love the person, and trust that God will take it from there.
Trust that God is already at work in them and always will be. Trust that even if the love you give them is rebuked, and even if your words seem to fall upon ears that cannot hear, God is at work in their hearts.
You cannot lead them to Jesus by yourself, and they may never come to know Jesus at all. But they will move closer to God because of your love.
Move them toward love, and you move them toward God.